Today I had a rhetoric assignment in school that I thought I’d share, just for fun. Enjoy!
How to Slay a Dragon
If you are reading this (and obviously you are), you must want to know how to do the aforementioned deed. If so, keep reading; you will not be disappointed.
First, gather the things on the list below.
- A sword
- A horse (a skateboard works too)
- Two sombreros (one for you, one for the dragon)
- Paper and pencil (to write an epic poem of your deeds)
- A compass and map
- A pack of bubble gum
Gather these items in a backpack, mount your gallant steed (or skateboard), and get out your map.
Now the problem is where to find the dragon, as dragons are rather hard to find. The only surviving dragon species is located in the country of Galoompifus, between Madagascar and Mozambique.
These dragons are infamous for keeping fair ladies captive. If it is your wish to rescue a fair lady, then read on. If it is not your wish, go find your skateboard and go on your trek without help from me.
Once you arrive at Galoompifus, you should be very careful. Though the dragon-beasts look harmless, they are very dangerous. (They look much like teddy bears until they stick out their spines.)
Ride your horse (or skateboard) up the large mountain in the center of Galoompifus until you find a dragon’s cave. They are every where, and thus not hard to find.
Inside the cave a fair maiden will sit, bound to a chair with cords. Typically, dragons don’t tie knots, but these are Galoompifus dragons. As I said, they’re more like teddy bears. Cut the cords with your sword and let her go free.
Soon the dragon will arrive.
Give the lady some gum so that she won’t scream while you’re fighting the dragon.
Toss the sombrero over to the dragon, then put your own on.
Fight the dragon.
Kill the dragon.
Ride down the mountain on your skateboard (or horse) with your fair lady.
Chances are you’ll need a nap.
Let me know how you liked it! And also, check what’s between Madagascar and Mozambique. 😉